summer skin

doesn't get much better than sitting in the backyard reading a book jason picked up for me a couple weeks ago. 

there's a sweaty glass of lemonade (and a healthy glug of vodka) by my side, some death cab for cutie in my ear and a welcome sense of self burning inside me. 

have a lovely weekend, 

maggie

a tiny window...

here's what i've been up to lately:

it's alright ma, i can make it

it feels so strange to be in this room tonight. 

over a perfectly poured guinness he tells me he can't believe i'm here. 

that it doesn't feel real. 

he says i look half empty without kesey at my feet. 

he cried and held me the same way he did the afternoon i left the plains, like i was about to say goodbye. 

i ripped a dylan quote and told him all i could do is be me, whoever that is. 

he laughed, finished his beer, went after my king and put me in checkmate. 

sometimes i just want to disappear and let go for a few months. live out of the volkswagen and travel, well, whenever i get jetta back. 

innocent vigilant (extra?) ordinary

that song makes me dance around the cabin like a fool. 

looks like i'm not getting much sleep tonight. 

all i can do is lay here and dream of you. 

faded from the winter

pretty much every night this happens, usually right as i'm falling asleep. last night it happened on a stranger's couch, with a strange dog in my lap. it always sneaks up on me and then hits like a stack of bricks, this feeling of total loss. emptiness. 

i'm starting to forget what it felt like. 

i feel like memories are being stolen from me, one sunshiney day at a time.

nights like tonight i wish it was still winter, fat snowflakes falling from the sky. 

i still don't know how to get over this. 

the juniper bends as if you were listening. 

"i find it shelter to speak to you."

today, man... what a beautiful day. 

not much tops waking up to a bright, crisp sunday morning. a late, lazy brunch of french toast with candied almonds and maple syrup and organic fair trade coffee (ooh la la boulder!!!) with a devastatingly charming, handsome man really set the tone for my day. 

listening to eddie vedder's 'throw your arms around me' with the windows down watching the sun set didn't hurt much either. 

i've been thinking of different ways to get back in touch, to emerge from this period of silence. 

i'm coming back. 

i'm coming out of the quiet. 

i'm crawling out of the cave. 

finally. 

the sunshine feels amazing on my back.

a happy sunday to everybody. 

cinders and smoke...

time has been slipping away from me, and with a couple eyelash tangling blinks of my eyes april is quickly turning into may. 

usually i'm the kind of person who finds comfort in routine, but lately i've been dying for some excuse to change it up. low and behold my excuse showed itself days after my birthday. a new face, a new feeling, a warm body to take away the deafening silence of the cabin. 

last weekend my excuse and i headed out to mt. harvard, a fourteener 10 miles west of buena vista for the first camp of the season. it was... perfect. sure, it was about 20 degrees at 12,000 feet, but with a raging fire and a never ending supply of s'mores there wasn't much to compla

in about. well, except for me forgetting the rain fly to the little kelty tent broken in and seasoned by music festivals, mountains and well, rain. dammit. we set up camp alongside the arkansas river, which was pretty amazing but cold. sunday morning jason and i caved and went to the coyote cantina for some breakfast and hot (!!!) coffee. 

here are a couple pics: