faded from the winter

pretty much every night this happens, usually right as i'm falling asleep. last night it happened on a stranger's couch, with a strange dog in my lap. it always sneaks up on me and then hits like a stack of bricks, this feeling of total loss. emptiness. 

i'm starting to forget what it felt like. 

i feel like memories are being stolen from me, one sunshiney day at a time.

nights like tonight i wish it was still winter, fat snowflakes falling from the sky. 

i still don't know how to get over this. 

the juniper bends as if you were listening.