faded from the winter

pretty much every night this happens, usually right as i'm falling asleep. last night it happened on a stranger's couch, with a strange dog in my lap. it always sneaks up on me and then hits like a stack of bricks, this feeling of total loss. emptiness. 

i'm starting to forget what it felt like. 

i feel like memories are being stolen from me, one sunshiney day at a time.

nights like tonight i wish it was still winter, fat snowflakes falling from the sky. 

i still don't know how to get over this. 

the juniper bends as if you were listening. 

for kesey, may you rest in peace.

hey there.

so, i know it's been a while since i've last posted, much longer than i had ever imagined, and i just wanted to let you know it's not you; it's me. 

things have been pretty insane over the past few months. we've been blessed with a beautiful colorado winter, snow and sunshine aplenty.

the reason for my post is not very light-hearted. 

last tuesday, february 26th, my 5 year old dog kesey was put to sleep. it was very unexpected and completely devastated me. he got very sick very quickly, and it was a choice i made with his best interest in mind. he taught me so much about myself and living life to its fullest. he is deeply loved and is missed terribly. 

there may be a bit more time between this and my next post. 

i have been feeling very quiet lately.